Dreaded DMV

Ah, the DMV.  The Division of Motor Vehicles.   Without them, driving from point A to point B would be absolutely chaotic, so obviously we need them.    Driving a vehicle is a rite of passage, as well as visiting the lovely DMV to do so.   Now most people dread going to the DMV, and for good reason!  Not only are you corralled together with other frustrated and cranky people, but you have to sit there for at least an hour before you’re called back.  Once your name is called, you sit across from yet another grouchy person that obviously would rather be outside in 100 degrees digging a ditch than to be sitting across from you giving the eye test.   The whole trip to the DMV can be summed up in one word:  dreadful.  I too, had a dreadful experience at the DMV thanks to my forever sidekick, Diabetes.

Anyone who has type 1 knows that the DMV will bombard you with letters.  “Are you healthy enough to safely operate a motor vehicle?” “How are your eyes?” What is your A1C?”  Oh and my personal favorite, “Have 10,000 forms filled out (by a doctor) in less than 30 days or your license will be taken away!”  At first I received these letters when I was getting my learners permit.  I had to make a special trip to see my pediatrician to have them filled out so I could drive.  After that, I had to get the forms filled out again for my license.  Each time I visited my doctor he would give me “the talk” about whether or not he should sign them.  I must say his method worked—after the appointment I tried really hard to get my blood sugars under control once he signed them.  As I got older, things got a little more difficult.

As many of you know from previous blog posts, I have struggled to take care of myself since I was in middle school.  Part of it was laziness, and the other part was just being tired; tired of having Diabetes on my mind 24/7.   So when I received the threatening DMV letter, my heart sank.  I had just gotten my license renewed in December on my 21^st birthday (because it expired then), and it was summer when I received the letter.   Like usual, they gave me 30 days, which was NOT long enough.  Unfortunately I had to make an appointment with my endocrinologist so she could fill them out, but the whole process was going to take too long.  After many phone calls to the division, I got an extension (of 2 weeks). 

I arrived at my doctor’s appointment on May 20^th with my thick stack of paperwork in my hands.  After explaining the papers to my doctor, she gave me The Look.   I could feel the knot in my throat grow till I could hardly breathe as she spoke.  She told me that she would be honest in filling it out, and that she did not feel comfortable with the fact that I could be driving with a bad blood sugar and kill an innocent person.   **Insert waterworks here**  I had never been more upset with myself than I was in that moment.  I knew she was right, but I couldn’t help but feel like she was being too harsh on me.  All of my regret and disappointment I felt toward myself slowly turned into anger towards my doctor.  How dare she prevent me from driving!  I have to go to school, in Wilmington!  That’s a four hour drive from here!  I have never been in an accident, and I don’t have a single ticket.  My record is clean—I am a safe driver.  I left the appointment crying, and the tears kept flowing for the next few days.

After my doctor sent in the paperwork there was an awful waiting period.  I called the medical review board twice and they told me they were processing the paperwork and it would take up to 3 months to hear back.  So I waited.

August came, and I moved back to Wilmington to start school again.  Things were going great until one day I received a phone call from my mother.  She told me that I had a letter from the DMV and asked if she should open it and read it.  I was scared for her to read it aloud in case it was bad news, but she would find out soon enough.  She then proceeded to read the letter aloud and my heart clenched in my chest as the words ripped me apart.

Great.  Now I have a restriction.  Oh wait, what’s that?  I have less than 15 days to go to the DMV and get a new license.  Awesome.

I arrived at the DMV on September 10^th and waited in the sardine box for what seemed like hours.  When I was finally called back I showed the letter to the DMV employee.   As if this whole process could not get any worse, he informed me that I would have to do the driving test because I was getting a restriction.   THE DRIVING TEST.  So I had to go back to the lobby and wait with the other young teeny boppers till it was time.  I burst into tears.  I walked outside and called my mother, who tried to reassure me.  I was a nervous wreck.  Not only did I forget how to do a 3 point road turn, but I still couldn’t back up to save my life, and it’s in Wilmington!  I don’t know these roads!  I waited outside for the longest time until my snubs subsided.  I slowly walked back into the DMV with my head drooping where I awaited countless stares from people wondering why my eyelids had suddenly turned into puffy pink pillows.  When it was time for me to drive, I took a deep breath and just went with it.

I must say it went okay.  I messed up the 3 point road turn, but he seemed fine with my sloppy job.  He commented by saying, “at least you didn’t hit anything.”  So, at least the man was friendly enough-- he thought it was crazy that he had to ride with me in the first place.  He had never seen that restriction, and he even checked with his coworkers and they had never seen it either.   Long story short, I passed the driving test and had a new license made.  Complete with my puffy pink eyelids and bloodshot eyes. 

So Diabetes has once again ruined my life--at least my driving life for now.  I was informed that this will never go away.  Now that I am in the system with a restriction, they will require me to take the driving test every year.  IF I can get my A1C down, and have a decent medical evaluation sent to the DMV, then it might be moved to every 3 years.  If I have a perfect A1C after that, then it may get moved to every 5 years, but that’s it.  Therefore, I have no tolerance for anyone complaining about having to go every 8-10 years to get their license renewed.   For the rest of my driving life, I will be seeing a lot of the DMV thanks to Diabetes.