Morning Low

It’s every diabetic’s worst nightmare to wake up in the morning and feel detached from reality.  This is the best way I can describe what I feel like when I wake up with a low blood sugar, and sometimes it’s not even that low.  Imagine it:

I open my eyes slowly as the light is gently peeking through my curtains.  I turn over in bed, unaware that my body feels numb and it’s slightly vibrating.  I glance at the clock- 11:37 am.  It’s summer, so the time doesn’t really matter to me.  I slide myself over to the side of the bed and wait, my feet dangling.  Whew, my brain feels sloshy, I must have moved too quickly- “probably the Lisinopril kicking in from last night,” I thought, reassuring myself.  I decide to get up and head towards the bathroom, no big deal, my usual routine.   As my bare toes touch the cold hardwood floor beneath me, I quickly realize something is wrong.  My head feels funny.  Come to think of it, my whole perception of the room around me is distorted.

My eyes can’t seem to focus on anything.  My movements are jerky, yet in slow motion.  It’s like being in a movie that has slowed down to show an action scene, but in your head you know that time is still moving on like normal.  It feels as if I’m still asleep, or in an in-between stage of sleep and wakefulness, where I can’t quite get out of the fuzzy dream I am in.  Though my senses are obviously affected, my ears are picking up on everything, even if my own thoughts are deafening.  If anyone has ever passed out before, you know what I mean when I say this:  I can hear everything that is happening around me, but I can’t do anything.   My brain and my body are on two different wavelengths.  My legs are tingling, sort-of scratchy like, almost to the “pins and needles” stage.  At this point I take a step toward my door, hoping new scenery will wake me up and things will return to normal, this is when I notice I feel numb, and I am positive that my tongue is numb.  

Most of you are thinking right now, why on earth haven’t you checked your blood sugar?!  In this stage, I am not thinking “wow, my blood sugar must be 20, I should do something about it.”  Instead, I mainly feel frightened, yet slightly depressed.  Besides, most everybody is going on with their day, unaware that I am in a strange state of consciousness.  Of course all of the “normal” people out there do not have Diabetes, and will never have to be in this state.  This is a moment in the morning where I am afraid I will never wake up.  I will never get out of this nightmare of watching the world pass before me while I am standing here unable to manipulate my surroundings, or cause any sort of change in my own little universe.  I am trapped inside my own head.   What’s worse is that I am usually home alone when this happens, so there is no one to care for me, or realize I am not myself.  The responsibility is heavy on my shoulders, and I am scared I will stay like this forever.

To make a long story short, after wondering around my house for a bit, and clawing at my legs while popping glucose tablets like jelly beans, I eventually return to normal.  What’s weird is that sometimes my blood sugar will only be 60, or in the mid to upper 50s.  I am used to blood sugars being much lower, and so this tells me that my blood sugar was low all night long - affecting the functioning of my brain (my brain is starving, after all!).  Now, this has happened too many times to count, and the reasons for it happening are unknown.  Each time it occurs, I react differently.  I may try to pretend it isn’t happening, or that this dreamlike effect will “rub off.”  Other times I try to call Joe, and he helps me get through it.  One memorable time was when he left in the middle of biology class, and drove 30 minutes to come to my rescue! (That morning I experienced the extremely odd symptom of not being able to read).  In fact, I had trouble calling Joe in the first place because I couldn’t figure out how to work my phone.  

The moral of the story:  if this happens to you, you are not alone.  I was never warned that this might happen to me one day.  I think the first time it happened I was 17-18 years old, and it has happened multiple times now that I am in my 20s.  It’s scary, yes.  Eat some glucose tablets and call someone: a friend, a boyfriend, a loved one…anybody!  Contact someone that knows your situation and won’t start panicking.